


First Love

by amethyst_stardust



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Childhood, First Love by Min Yoongi, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I recommend listening to the song, Inspired by Music, M/M, Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), and reading the lyrics, i couldn't resist adding klance at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 10:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17343983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethyst_stardust/pseuds/amethyst_stardust
Summary: "The corner of my memoryA brown piano settled on one sideIn the corner of my childhood houseA brown piano settled on one side."- First Love, Min Yoongi***One of Keith’s first memories was of a brown piano resting in the corner of the tiny shack he and his dad used to live in.





	First Love

**Author's Note:**

> *Comes into 2019 with a new 9k fic instead of finishing my other on-going one*. For those who are reading my "So where do we begin?" fic i'm so sorry for not updating (in a year lol) but i can't find much inspiration at the moment, i hope you understand. As for this fic, i was writing it simultaneously with the other one and i forced myself to finish it last night so i could post it today. I am proud of this but at the same time i felt like i could have done better. Hope you like it an don't be afraid to leave any kudos or comments on what you think of it ;)

One of Keith’s first memories was of a brown piano resting in the corner of the tiny shack he and his dad used to live in.

-

He remembered hearing the sweet, but melancholic, music that came from the piano every time his dad used to play it. He always played the same song, and sometimes, he would softly sing along as tears streamed down his face.

Some days, Keith would beg his dad to teach him to play that wonderful, yet mysterious, instrument and his dad would just chuckle and ruffle his hair, saying that he was too young. The four-year-old would just huff and retry the next day.

One day, it seemed as if Keith’s insistence paid off because his dad had finally agreed to teach him how to play the piano. And teach him he did.

At first, he taught him tunes meant for children, and then slowly started teaching him more difficult songs once Keith got the hang of them. It wasn’t long before he mastered each song. He was a natural.

During the day, the shack would be filled with the happy tunes that come from the young boy, and at night, the shack would be filled with the same sad music that his father constantly played.

After months—almost a whole year—of learning the piano, Keith asked his father to teach him the song he constantly played at night. After consistent begging from the young child, his father finally gave in.

And so he taught him the song.

It took Keith a long time before he was able to learn it, but he never gave up and constantly practised, even when his dad was at work or forgot about their lessons. It seemed that lately, his dad was always dejected and so it was Keith’s mission to cheer his dad up.

His dad’s birthday was soon, so Keith made sure that he would be able to perfect the song by then. It took many tries, but after he played it for the first time with no mistake, it made all that time worth it.

On his dad’s birthday, Keith surprised him by playing the song, and when the young boy finished, he turned around to face his dad. When he turned around, Keith was expecting his dad to be proudly smiling, but instead, tears were streaming down his face. When Keith got closer and asked his dad why he was crying, the older man just wrapped his arms tightly around his son and cried into his hair.

After that incident, his dad stopped playing that song as sometimes just looking at the piano caused tears to slip down his cheeks.

Keith missed hearing that beautiful song, and would sometimes beg his dad to play it again, but he would just shake his head and change the subject. So, Keith too stopped playing that song, and instead reverted back to the childish tunes his dad first taught him.

Back then, Keith was content to play the piano whenever his hands itched to play, never knowing how significant this beautiful instrument was to this family. Back then, he was content with just looking at it, sitting there in the corner of the tiny shack he and his dad used to live in.

 

* * *

 

A year passed and eventually, Keith’s dad stopped playing the piano altogether. Keith—after seeing the sadness in his father’s eyes every time the younger boy sat down on the piano bench—stopped playing too.

A very small part of Keith hated the piano for making his dad sad, and so, the piano sat there in the corner, collecting dust.

A couple more years passed but the piano was still left untouched. Keith went into fourth grade and his dad started leaving the younger boy home alone more often. Sometimes he would be gone for a couple of days straight, leaving Keith sitting on the couch and staring at the door patiently until he arrived. There were times where Keith would ask his father to play with him, usually on days where his father didn’t work, but the older man would just shake his head and head to bed, saying that he was tired.

Keith hated that his dad paid more attention to his job than his son. Keith hated being left alone at night in the tiny shack, the only noise coming from the coyotes outside that caused Keith to cower under his blanket in fear.

But still, Keith didn’t throw any tantrums and didn’t complain to his dad.

One day, his dad went to work early in the morning, leaving Keith once again all alone. However, as night fell, he didn’t come home. While Keith was slightly worried (and afraid, the coyotes were starting to howl), it was normal for his dad to be gone all night.

That night Keith—after making sure that everything was locked—fell asleep on the couch, wanting to surprise his dad when he came back the next morning.

When Keith woke up the next morning, he found that his dad wasn’t there and while he was disappointed, he didn’t think much of it.

Night came, and once again, his father wasn’t home.

A couple of days go by, and Keith started getting scared. While his dad was sometimes gone for a couple of days in a row, he was never gone for this long, and never without saying something first.

Keith didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know anyone who he could tell, so the young boy just kept sleeping on the couch every night, hoping that when he woke up his dad would be there.

On the eighth night, Keith couldn’t fall asleep. The howling wind along with the noises from the wildlife outside kept him awake. He sat up and reached for the tv remote, hoping that watching some cartoons would help him fall asleep.

As he reached for the remote, however, his eyes went towards the corner of the shack, where the brown piano resided.

His mind flashed back to times when his dad happily taught him how to play before he started growing distant. Keith missed seeing his dad smile, he missed when his dad would shower him in affection each time he learned a new song.

Before he knew it, Keith’s feet took him towards the piano.

He was taller than it, when before he used to barely reach the keys. Dust covered it but when Keith opened the cover, he saw that the piano keys were still a bright white. Keith sat down on the bench and stared at the piano keys as his hands hovered above them. He hadn’t played in a bit, but something in him urged him to play. Right when Keith’s fingers were about to press down on the keys, there was a knock on the door.

Keith startled and hopped off the bench. He closed the piano cover before heading towards the door.  Who could be knocking at this time? It obviously wasn’t his dad since he usually had his keys, so Keith peered out the window by the door.

A man and a woman, both in police uniforms, stood in front of the door. They were talking to each other, both with a worried look on their faces as the man reached over to knock on the door again.

Keith planned on pretending that he wasn’t home—memories of his dad telling him to never open the door to anybody floating around his head— but then the woman’s eyes flickered towards the window and she caught Keith’s gaze. Keith quickly ducked down.

There was a knock again, this time accompanied by a voice. “Hey kiddo, we aren’t here to hurt you, we just wanted to talk.”

While Keith didn’t want to open the door, he knew that there was no point in hiding, so he headed towards the door and slightly opened the door.

Both of the officers’ eyes went towards the small figure standing behind the door and the man crouched down to the boy’s height. He smiled softly and greeted the child.

“Hey kiddo, my name’s John and this officer next to me is Rosa. What’s your name?”

Keith hesitated, but the man seemed nice so he answered in a small voice, “Keith.”

“Hello Keith,” the lady said, “I’m guessing you’re Kogane’s son, right?”

That peaked Keith’s interest. His father hadn’t returned yet and it has been more than a week already, causing Keith to be worried (and slightly scared if he was being honest), but now, here came these two police people asking him if he was his father’s son.

Keith nodded and opened the door a bit more.

“Have you seen him? He went to work a couple of days ago but he hasn’t come home yet. Sometimes he would be gone for days, but he still isn’t home. Do you know where he is?”

Both officers looked at each other, with an expression that Keith couldn’t describe.

The lady looked at him again and smiled, but her smile looked off. She crouched next to the man.

“Keith, we came here because we wanted to talk to you about your father. Is it alright if we come in?”

The little boy was confused. Why would two officers want to talk to him about his dad? Keith knew that he wasn’t supposed to let strangers in, let alone open the door for them, but these two people wanted to talk to him about his dad. Keith let them in.

The officers sat on the couch and the lady patted the empty spot between them. Keith sat down and looked up at the lady.

“So, do you know where my dad is?”

Something flashed in the lady’s eyes and they flickered towards the man on Keith’s other side. She then looked back at the young boy and cleared her throat before speaking.

“Keith, are you aware that your dad is a firefighter?”

Why was this lady asking him if he knew that his dad was a firefighter? Of course he knew, his dad had the coolest job in the world! When Keith was younger, and when his dad used to be happier, his dad would take him to work sometimes, and once, he even let Keith ride in the firetruck with him.

Keith told the lady this, and they both chuckled. It sounded off, however.

“Well, Keith, I’m sure you are aware then that your dad’s job is to save people.” Keith nodded.

“Um, well, Keith,” the lady swallowed, “a couple of hours ago there was a fire at one of the houses in the town close by, and your dad and his team went to put out the fire,” the lady cleared her throat, “however, the lady who lived there was stuck in the house so your father went inside to help her-”

Wow! His dad was so cool, going into a fire to help the lady. Keith grinned, he truly had the coolest dad.

The lady stopped after seeing Keith’s smile so the man continued in her place.

“The lady was stuck on the third floor and when your father went in, the fire grew out of control. Your father’s comrades were struggling to put out the fire and the house collapsed.”

Keith was confused, what about his dad?

The man, seeing Keith’s confused face, said: “Your father didn’t make it out of the house, kiddo, by the time your father’s comrades put out the fire half the house was already destroyed.” Keith still didn’t understand. “Keith,” there was a long pause, “your father didn’t make it. He passed away.”

What?

Keith’s mind went blank. He obviously knew that the officer was telling him that his dad died, meaning that he wasn't coming back. A faint memory flashed through Keith mind.

_When Keith was five or six his dad received a phone call. When he hung up, sometime later, he had tears streaming down his cheeks. Keith ran up to his dad and hugged him, asking him why he was crying. His dad hugged him tight, and after crying explained to him that a close friend of his died. Back then, Keith didn’t understand the meaning of the word so Keith’s dad explained to him what it meant. Even after the explanation, however, Keith still didn’t fully understand why his dad was crying but he didn’t say anything and hugged his dad back._

“-eith?”

Keith snapped out of the memory when he heard his name being called. He turned his face towards the officer, but everything was blurry. That’s when he noticed the tears falling down his cheek. Then a sob escaped from his lips.

He felt a pair of strong arms gently wrap around him as he cried.

“I'm sorry, kiddo, from what we heard he was a great man. We hate to do this, but you can’t stay here by yourself, you have to come to the police department with us.”

Usually, Keith would have argued and asked why he couldn’t stay, but his heart felt too heavy and his mind felt too numb for him to argue so he nodded.

The police officers stood up from the couch and Keith stood up with them.

“Why don’t you go get your stuff, we’ll stay here and wait for you.”

Keith didn’t say anything but he headed towards his room. He didn’t remember much of what he had packed, only remembering that he packed a weird knife that he found in his dad’s bedside drawer. After he was done, he walked back to where the officers were.

The lady softly patted Keith’s shoulder when he came back and she steered him out the door. Keith took one last look at the place that he has called home for his whole (although short) life.

The last thing he saw was the brown piano that rested in the corner of the tiny shack. The piano that he once yearned to play but then neglected, leaving it to collect dust.

 

* * *

 

 

When Takashi Shirogane first walked into his classroom, Keith thought that he was going to be a rude and cocky guy, spending his time bragging to the class about his achievements.

Whispers went around the class, everyone amazed by this guy, but Keith just blocked out their voices and looked out the window disinterested. He just wanted this to be over already.

Then Shirogane talked about the Garrison looking for new students to enroll. Although he’d deny it, a small part of Keith was interested in what the guy at the front of the class was saying. There had always been something about space and the stars that called to Keith, something that made him want to fly out of the Earth’s atmosphere and into the vast and endless beauty that was the universe.

However, Keith pretended to be uninterested as the rest of his class raised their hands and yelled excitedly.

They were then taken outside to try out this flight simulator to see if they could qualify for the Garrison. Keith felt disappointed from this, knowing that he would never be able to qualify for a military-grade school because of all his discipline problems.

One by one, his classmates went into the simulator however not many made it past the second level. The few who did, immediately failed the third level, including the school’s golden boy, James Griffin.

After the first girl failed, Keith just stayed outside waiting for them to be done. He didn’t care about trying this simulator.

(A small part of him—the one that almost made him play that piano again, years ago, after not playing for a long time—made him want to try out the simulator.

Keith squashed that thought.)

Then Shirogane turned towards him, and in an almost knowing voice he said, “Looks like you’re the only one who’s left. Think you got what it takes?”

Back then, if anyone had asked him why he decided to do the simulator, he would have said that he was impulsive and could never back down from a challenge. And to him, there was an almost-challenging tone to Shirogane’s voice. In reality, though, he couldn’t explain why he decided to try the simulator. There was something in him that kept urging him to do it, and so he sat on the chair and grabbed the thrusters.

When his hand first grabbed the thrusters, Keith was filled with a sense of fulfillment, the same one he felt when he was first able to play his dad’s melancholic song on the piano. Keith’s mind went blank and he let instinct take over.

He could feel everyone’s surprise—even heard someone saying “That emo kid’s doing it!”—but he just blocked them out and focused only on the simulator.

Before he knew it, he had completed level 5. He’d gone farther than any other kid in his class. This caused a wave of happiness to crash over Keith and he continued onto level 6. That happiness faded when he heard his principal call him a discipline case.

He gritted his teeth and held the thrusters tighter.

Then the principal introduced James to Shirogane and started singing praises about him. By then, Keith felt his body shut down and he felt anger but numbness at the same time. He knew that he would never have a future and that for the rest of his life he’d only be seen as a discipline case. So Keith stopped caring and he crashed the simulator. He walked out the simulator and got into Shirogane’s car, driving away. It’s not like he cared if he got caught or not.

-

He ended up getting caught and Keith expected the Shirogane guy to press charges on him and send him to juvie. To his surprise, Shirogane didn’t press charges and instead invited him to join the Garrison. Keith couldn’t help but feel suspicious, he was usually punished for acting out and people never wasted their time on him. The small part of him that felt drawn towards space won, however, and so he accepted Shirogane’s offer to join the Garrison.

(He would have never admitted it back then, but something about this Takashi Shirogane felt different. A good different.)

 -

It took a while for Keith to warm up to Shiro but fortunately, the older man was patient and never gave up on him. The first time Keith felt that he could fully trust Shiro was after he punched James.

They were practising flight simulators and Keith had gotten bored, so he decided to go a little faster. They were training to be fighter pilots, for god sake, all that mattered was going fast! All of this training was so easy and so boring. He ended up accidentally hitting one of the jets in front of him in his distractedness.

“Fall in line, cadet,” said Iverson.

In a monotonous tone Keith responded with, “ Sorry, just testing my controls. Stick’s loose.” Whatever, this was boring. Keith expected more exciting things, such as the simulator he tried when he first met Shiro, not all of this precision and teamwork bullshit.

He heard a remark coming from one of the other pilots. “Keep this up and you’ll be stuck as a cargo pilot.”

“Yeah, Keith, you’re gonna get us in trouble.”

Keith was planning on ignoring the pilot but then golden boy James just had to say something. Mr. i-have-to-follow-the-rules-and-everyone-likes-me-and-i-think-i’m-perfect blah blah blah.

He felt himself get angry so he set the thrusters at full speed and broke away from the formation, flying the jet downwards. He ignored everyone yelling out his name in annoyance. Didn’t matter anyway, he probably wouldn’t last in this school for too long so why follow these boring lessons. He has always relied on instinct and it has gotten him this far, so why should he ignore it?

Iverson called them off the simulator and made them stand in a line as he paced back and forth lecturing them. He ended up assigning them three weeks of running drills and while the others seemed to hate it, Keith couldn’t find himself to care, even when Iverson stopped and stared down at him. Keith kept staring straight ahead.

After Iverson walked away from him James turned towards him.

“Thanks a lot.”

“My pleasure.”

His response apparently didn’t sit well with James because he kept talking.

“We all know that the only reason you’re here is because of Shiro.”

He scoffed in his mind—as if he needed Shiro to get into the Garrison. It’s not like it was Shiro who helped him get to level five of the simulator, which was higher than what even James had reached. He can out-fly anyone in this building.

He says the last part to James, who sneered. “Oh yeah? Is that what mommy and daddy told you befor-”

How dare he mention his parents. What does he know about not having parents? Everything he’s had was handed to him on a silver platter while Keith had to sweat and bleed and tear through his obstacles before he could receive anything. And even then, he never got anything.

Keith’s fists tightened and before he knew it he punched the sneer off of James’ face. The other boy fell to the ground and Keith went on top of him, intending to ruin that smug face of his. Before he could land another punch, however, he was picked up from one of the other commanders and dragged away to the office.

Keith ignored James’ glares as they sat outside the office, waiting for Shiro to be done talking. All Keith could think about was how he messed up his chance. The one time he got a second chance he had to go and mess it up, proving what others have always said to him, that he was a “problem child” and “too violent”. He really thought that things would have been different at the Garrison, but apparently not.

Keith stared at the ground as Shiro left the office and walked up to him. Keith didn’t let him get past his greeting, quickly interrupting him by saying “Look, I know I messed up. You should send me back to the home already. This place isn’t for me.”

Because that’s what the other foster homes always did when he was being too difficult or didn’t fit in with their expectations. Who was he to think that Shiro was different, he might as well get over it instead of having to go through the process of yet another person trying to let him down gently.

“Keith, you can do this. I will never give up on you. But, more importantly, you can’t give up on yourself.”

Keith looked up at Shiro in surprise. The older man sounded sincere, but Keith had been through this process too many times to believe him.

“You don’t even know me.”

“You’re right. I don’t. But sometimes, we all need a hand.”

Keith stared at the hand that Shiro offered him. He’s grown up getting used to the fact that people, especially adults, gave up on him. He was usually labelled as too violent, too aggressive, too detached. No one had ever taken a chance on him, foster families calling social workers at his first mistake and teachers sending him to the office without letting him explain himself. But here he was, Takashi Shirogane, a man who barely knew him but somehow refused to give up on him. Even after stealing his car, he still gave him a second chance. He reminded Keith of his dad.

So, as he took the hand that Shiro offered, Keith vowed that he would make Shiro proud, because if he believed that Keith deserved this, then Keith will do all he can to prove him right.

-

After that, Keith started putting more effort in his studying and in trying to follow the rules. By no means was this easy—he still had moments where he talked back or didn’t follow instructions—but he tried his best. In the process, he warmed up to Shiro more.

One day Shiro came up to him and handed him a pair of goggles before turning around and telling Keith to follow him. He followed him, confused until they reached outside and he saw the two hoverbikes. Shiro chuckled at Keith’s excitement as he put on the goggles and got on the hoverbike, telling Keith to do the same. Then they took off, racing against each other to the open desert and away from the Garrison.

As he flew on the hoverbike, Keith felt the same adrenaline he felt during the simulator when he first met Shiro. This—flying—was what he was meant to do.

When he saw that they were nearing a cliff, Keith had expected for Shiro to stop, instead, the man kept going and flew down the cliff, pulling up the thrusters right before he touched the ground. Keith stopped at the edge of the cliff, staring in amazement at the move the older man pulled off. This was why Shiro was the Garrison’s poster boy.

By the time Keith found another passage and reached Shiro, the sun was setting.

“All right. You won this round, but I’ll get you in the next race, old timer.” He said as he got off the hoverbike and took off his goggles.

Shiro, leaning against his hoverbike, chuckled. “I don’t doubt it.”

“How’d you do that dive, anyway?”

“You like that one, huh? It’s all about timing. You pull up too soon and you won’t have the momentum needed to create lift,” he explained, “Too late, there won’t be enough lift to avoid the crash.”

Keith stared at Shiro’s gestures as he explained. Would he be able to pull something like this off?  He looks up at Shiro and asks him if he was ready. Shiro only crossed his arms and said, “What do you think?”

His first instinct was to say yes, that he was always ready, but he stopped. He wanted to try it, and he knew that Shiro would let if he said yes, but then he remembered the talk he had with Shiro after he punched James. He vowed that he would make Shiro proud, and he knew that waiting and learning more before doing this manoeuvre was what would make him proud. So, he told Shiro he would wait, and he knew that one day Shiro would teach him that and much more. Shiro smiled at him before facing towards the desert.

“So you grew up here?”

“Yep. Just me and my pop.” A memory of him and his dad playing the piano flashed through his mind.

“He was a fireman, right?” Another memory flashed through, the one of the two officers telling him about his father’s death.

“Yeah. he was a real hero. Everyone told him not to run back into that building, but you couldn’t tell him anything.” More memories of him and his dad flashed through his mind, and any happiness he felt previously disappeared.

“Sounds like someone I know.”

Before either of them could say something, there was a beeping noise and Shiro grabbed his right arm. Keith looked over at him, “What are those?”

Shiro pressed a button and the beeping stopped before turning towards him and saying that they were electro-stimulators, they kept his muscles loose. Keith tried asking more about it but Shiro gave a half-assed response before getting back on the hoverbike.

“Come on. We should get back to the base.”

Keith stared at Shiro as he started the engine. He knew that what Shiro said wasn’t the complete truth, which worried him, but Keith also knew that if Shiro—who was always sincere with him—lied about this, it meant that it was something important and he'll probably know more about later on. Patience yields focus, he would say.

-

Keith did find out later on, after eavesdropping on Admiral Sanda’s, Commander Holt’s, and Shiro’s conversation. He didn’t know how to react at the fact that Shiro was sick. So Keith did what he knew best and he confronted Shiro the next day while the older man cleaned his hoverbike.

“When were you gonna tell me?”

Shiro stopped cleaning and greeted him but Keith just kept going.

“So what is it? Are you sick or something?”

Shiro hopped off the hoverbike and stood in front of him. “I'm not sure I follow—”

“I was outside your office. I overheard you and Commander Holt talking with Admiral Sanda. Tell me the truth. Tell me what’s wrong. I’m not a little kid. I can handle it.” He did, after all, have to hear that his dad died when he was a little kid and nothing could have been worse than that.

Shiro stared at him for a few seconds before looking down and sighing. “I have a disease...and it’s getting worse. I’ll only be able to maintain my peak condition for a couple more years. After that…” He turned away from him and leaned against the hoverbike. “The Garrison doesn’t want me up there. Neither does Adam.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I’m going on the mission.”

Even though Shiro didn’t say it, Keith knew that after his last year of being in peak condition, it would only get worse until eventually….he would…. Just like his dad. He felt a knot form at the back of his throat and in the pit of his stomach. God, of course Adam wouldn’t want him to go to Kerberos, Keith didn’t want him to go either, but he also understood that Shiro would still go to Kerberos no matter what, so Keith supported him.

-

A month later, during another one of their hoverbike races, Keith decided to lead Shiro towards the shack he used to live in. It was an impulsive decision, but Keith felt like Shiro deserved to know more about him after everything that he did for him. Shiro didn’t say anything when they went farther than usual, instead choosing to follow him until they finally reached the shack.

Keith stared at it as they turned off the engine and took off their goggles. It looked the same as it did six years ago. He felt Shiro turn towards him with a comforting smile. “This was where you and your dad lived?” Keith could hear the unsaid  _before he died_. He took a minute to answer, too overwhelmed from seeing the shack again for the first time in years, but then he nodded and forced himself to head towards the door.

“Yeah, it wasn’t much, but it was home.” Shiro hummed. “I-i actually wanted to show you something.”

Shiro said nothing and only followed him as Keith opened the door and walked inside. He felt tears form in his eyes as they darted around the room and felt his hands shake once his eyes landed on the familiar brown piano that rested in the corner. He froze, memories flashing through his mind, too overwhelmed to know what to do.

_His dad playing that melancholic song that had always fascinated Keith._

_His dad teaching him his first song on the piano._

_Him perfecting his first song._

_Him perfecting the song his dad always played and playing it for him as a birthday gift, only to see him crying, eyes sad and tired._

Shiro, as if reading his thoughts, placed a hand on his shoulder and softly squeezed it. That snapped Keith out of his thoughts. Slowly—as if approaching a wild animal—Keith approached the piano and sat down at the bench, staring down at the wood that covered the case.

“You play the piano?”

Keith nodded, clearing his throat before speaking. “Yeah,” his voice was hoarse, “when I was younger, my dad used to play this beautiful song and I would always insist that he should teach me that song. Eventually, I wore him down,” they both chuckled at that, “and he taught me how to play. At first, he taught me the simple stuff, and then eventually he taught me the more difficult songs. It took me a while before I managed to convince him to teach me that song he always used to play, and it took me a while to perfect it, but I constantly practised, even when dad wasn’t there. When I eventually perfected it, I decided to play it to him for his birthday, expecting him to be happy about it be happy, but when I turned around I found him crying. When I asked him what was wrong he hugged me and kept crying.”

Shiro said nothing, sensing that Keith was lost in his memories.

“After that, he stopped playing that song and eventually I stopped too. I think I realised that that song meant more than I thought. I went back to playing those happy, childish tunes and sometimes he would give me lessons but there were times where he couldn’t look at the piano without crying. Eventually, he stopped playing altogether and, after seeing how sad his eyes would get when I sat down to play, I stopped too.”

Carefully, Keith lifted the wooden cover and stared at the white jade-like keyboard, hands shaking as they hovered above the keys. Shiro’s hand was back on his shoulder, bringing him comfort as he—for the first time in years—pressed down on the keys.

Without thinking, he started playing the same song that his dad used to play years ago. The same song that caused him to burst into tears on his birthday and caused them both to stop playing the piano. The first few notes he played were off, and the song felt awkward, but it only lasted for a moment and seconds later the song he once found beautiful flowed out of the piano, sounding just like it did when his dad played it. He realised the hidden sadness behind the sweet-sounding notes, something he hadn’t noticed as a child.

Too caught up in memories, he hadn’t noticed when his eye’s had slipped shut, only noticing after re-opening them once the song was over. When he them, everything was blurry and confused, he blinked, only for a tear to slip down his cheek. Quickly, more tears followed and before he knew it, a sob slipped pass his lips. He curled into himself, eyes squeezed shut and hands pressed firmly against his mouth, trying to quiet down his sobs. It was as if his dad’s death came crashing down again and he felt himself drowning, the only thing anchoring him was Shiro’s firm grip on him, hugging him tightly as if trying to keep him together.

After what felt like an eternity, the tears finally stopped and Keith calmed down. Now that he wasn’t overwhelmed with grief, the only thing that Keith could feel was embarrassment for crying in front of someone else, even more so that it was Shiro, who hugged him tighter as if reading his thoughts.

Keith opened his mouth, to apologize to Shiro for having to witness how much of a mess he was, but he was interrupted before he could say anything.

“It’s okay to let go sometimes, Akira,” Keith felt another lump in his throat when Shiro said his name—his real name, the name his dad used to call him, the name he hasn’t heard since his dad had died and he was put into foster care. “It’s what makes us human. I can tell that this piano, this song, has a deeper meaning to you than I could ever understand, so who would I be to judge you for something that makes up who you are? You should never feel ashamed to cry about something like this.”

Keith, not knowing what to say, could only nod and lean back into Shiro’s chest. All his time in foster care had taught him that crying was a sign of weakness, making you more susceptible to getting kicked around by the older kids. Foster care had only taught him that he was supposed to hide his emotions and be strong, because at the first sign of weakness, those stronger than him, more powerful than him, would tear him up alive. It felt refreshing to have someone telling him the opposite.

Shiro unwrapped his arms from him once Keith sat up straighter as his hands hovered over the piano keys once again. This time, instead of playing the song that only caused tears, he played a quieter, but livelier tune. Keith was not good with words, always beeing someone who believed that actions spoke louder than words, so he hoped that Shiro would understand what he was trying to say through this song. And he did.

For the first time since he saw his dad cry, Keith had felt a sudden rush of happiness fill his heart, making his eyes soften and his lips pull up in a faint smile. He felt free, just like he did when he was in the simulator when he first met Shiro.

Keith kept playing song after song, until the sun was setting outside and Shiro, regretfully, had to tell him that they had to go back before curfew patrol started. It was like he found a new energy within him—after reuniting with his piano after many years, he didn’t want to let it go.

 -

So he didn’t.

-

Years passed and Keith and Shiro had made it tradition that whenever they went out in their hoverbikes, they would stop at the shack where Keith would play the piano until it got dark. Sometimes they would even bring Adam with them, who had hugged Keith tightly and wouldn't stop praising him when he first heard him play.

Their tradition, however, had to end once Shiro went to Kerberos. The night before, when they went to the shack once again, Keith had made Shiro sit down next to him and tried to teach him a simple tune. Needless to say, it was amusing to see that good-at-everything Shiro was absolute shit when it came to playing the piano.

Once Shiro went to Kerberos, Keith threw himself in his studies, not letting anything distract him from his chance to make Shiro proud when he came back. He rarely went out to the shack to play the piano anymore, knowing that it wasn’t the same to play alone. He also started paying more attention to his classes, although they bored him to death, and he managed to not get into fights. He couldn’t wait to show Shiro that he’d only gotten in trouble once since he went to Kerberos. That, however, went down the drain when they announced that the Kerberos mission failed.

When Keith first heard the news, he was in class and the teacher was interrupted by one of the commanders who announced the mission’s failure, saying that it was due to pilot error. Keith couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could feel the anger coursing through the veins at the thought that these people really believing that  _the_  Takashi Shirogane, one of the best pilots of the Garrison, would make a pilot error that cost him his and his teammates’ lives.

At that thought—that Shiro and his teammates were possibly dead—Keith felt himself go numb. The one person who finally believed in him, that told him that he wouldn’t give up on him, was now gone. Forever.

(Something in his gut, however, told him that Shiro wasn’t dead.)

Then his mind shifted to Adam, and before Keith knew it, he stood up from his seat and walked out the classroom, ignoring the teacher’s and commander’s voice, in order to look for Adam. His feet automatically took him to the room Adam and Shiro once used to share, and when he knocked the door opened and he found himself face-to-face with a clearly disheveled Adam.

His hair was all messed up as if he ran his hands through them several times, and his now-dull eyes were sunken in with dark bags under them. He looked just like how Keith felt.

Before Adam could say anything, Keith rushed into the room—closing the door behind him—and wrapped his arms tightly around Adam’s torso.

The older man tensed up, looking down at him in shock before he gently wrapped his arms around him and moved his hand up and down his back as the younger boy started to shake. Adam slowly guided him to the couch, sitting him down before walking away. Keith curled into himself, trying to stop the small sobs that passed through his lips. Minutes passed before Adam returned, two mugs in hand and a pair of pajamas slung over his shoulder. He placed the mugs—filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows, just how Keith liked it— on the coffee table and handed the pajamas to Keith, telling him to change into them.

Half-mindedly, Keith grabbed the clothes and went to the bathroom to change as quickly as possible before returning back again to the couch, where Adam was laying against one of the arms, sipping his hot cocoa as he watched the movie playing on the tv.

Keith grabbed his own mug and sat next to the other man, close enough to slightly calm him but still too far for comfort. As Keith tried hard to pay attention to the movie, he saw Adam move beside him and when he turned his head he saw the older man still looking at the tv, but one of his arms was open in a silent invitation.

Normally Keith would have just ignored it, maybe would have moved farther away too, but at that moment he needed something to anchor him down. And so, Keith scooted closer to Adam and rested his head on his shoulder as the other man wrapped his arm gently around him.

Then and there, sitting on the couch and sipping hot cocoa while watching a disney movie with his other almost-brother, Keith thought that maybe, within time, things were going to be okay again.

 

* * *

 

Things weren’t okay again.

He wasn’t okay.

A week after Kerberos’ failure was announced, Keith had gotten into his first fight in months, punching a cadet who blamed Shiro for the mission’s failure. Adam had talked with the superiors for him, just like Shiro used to do, but when they were back in Adam’s room they argued. Adam yelling at him for getting into fights again while Keith tried to defend himself. At one point Adam mentioned Shiro, saying  _he wouldn’t have been proud to see get into fights again, Keith_ and Keith felt himself shut down as the words came out of Adam’s mouth. Before he knew it, he was walking out the door and outside to where the hoverbikes were.

He took one and drove as far as he could, before reaching the same cliff where he once saw Shiro do that manoeuvre years ago. Too caught up in memories, Keith drives off the cliff and before realising it, mindlessly recreates the same manoeuvre Shiro had once promised to teach him. He reached the bottom of the cliff and kept driving until he was truly in the middle of nowhere. He turned off the engine and sat there, staring at the stars as if looking for an answer.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, only knowing that he stayed long enough to miss curfew, which, knowing the Garrison, will only end up with Keith receiving more punishment. However, at that moment, he couldn't bring himself to care and so he stayed, staring up at the stars.

_Shiro. What am i going to do without you?_

A shooting star flies through the night sky and something warm fills Keith’s chest. Right then and there, as he laid on the desert ground and stared at the star-filled sky, Keith knew that Shiro wasn’t dead and he will do anything to get him back.

-

 The argument was the last time Keith talked to Adam.

-

 Weeks passed since Kerberos’ failure was announced and Keith could only feel himself grow angrier. He stopped listening in class, sometimes skipping altogether, and he started getting into fights again—punching and yelling at students that blamed the mission’s failure on Shiro, however this time Shiro wasn’t there to keep the Garrison from punishing him. Sometimes they would give him detentions, sometimes they would give him suspensions, and lately, they have been threatening him with expulsion.

During the day, Keith would demand details about Kerberos, arguing that they weren’t dead, and at night he would sneak into offices and searched for any files that proved him right. It took him a while to find anything remotely close to what he was looking for, and just when he thought he was able to find something, he got kicked out of the Garrison for punching Iverson in the eye when the man mentioned Shiro.  _Don’t make the same mistake Shirogane did._

It seemed that was the last straw as instead of sending him to the office they straight up took him to his room, demanding that he packed his bags and that there would be an officer the next morning to drive him away.

He packed his only bag, barely filled with anything, however, once curfew patrol ended he snuck out of the Garrison and stole one of the hoverbikes, driving to the desert with no destination in mind.

He ended up at the shack, knowing that it was the only place he could go, even if it was too painful for him. The first thing he did was cover the piano with one of the bedsheets, not being able to look at it for only painful memories came to mind.

_His dad crying._

_The police officers telling him about his father’s death._

Another memory came to mind, of him teaching Shiro how to play the night before he left, and he felt a smile tug on his lips—something that hasn’t happened in weeks—before turning into a frown again once realising that Shiro wasn’t here anymore.

Shiro wasn’t here anymore.

Keith felt something heavy in his chest, but he also felt a fire in him starting to spread.

Shiro wasn’t here anymore, but Keith will do whatever it takes to bring him back because this was the man who promised that he would never give up on Keith, so why should Keith give up on him? The Garrison was wrong, there was no way that Shiro, who had broken all the simulator records and had run countless successful missions, would cause a pilot error, sick or not. Keith was going to prove the Garrison, and everyone else, wrong.

 -

 Three days after getting kicked out of the Garrison, Keith took out his—stolen—hoverbike and mindlessly flew through the desert, no destination in mind. It was when he reached some cliffs that he felt a pull at his gut that snapped him out of the memories his mind was caught up in.

He felt a calm and gentle energy flowing through him, almost caressing him but at the same time urging him forward, so Keith hopped off his hoverbike after hiding it—he was sure the Garrison would be looking for it, and Keith couldn’t afford for them to take it back—and walked to where the energy was taking him.

He ended up in a cave and thankfully, for there was light outside, he was able to see the carvings that covered the walls. They appeared to be lions, although not like normal lions. They appeared almost robotic. What could they mean? He felt the tug again, so he kept walking forward as he looked at the carving-covered walls. Maybe there would be an answer at the end of the cave, however, he was proven wrong when he reached a dead end. He could still feel the weird energy beckoning him forward so Keith felt around the walls, maybe he would find a secret entrance or something. Nothing. After what was probably hours of feeling around the cave walls, he found nothing. Even the energy he felt, which at first was strong, now felt weaker.

As Keith walked back towards the entrance, he saw it was almost night out. Best if he were to go back to the shack before night fell and the coyotes came out. So he did just that, however, as he flew away from the cave, he knew that he would go back. Something told him that that cave, that energy he felt, was connected with Shiro’s disappearance.

 -

 Months passed and slowly Keith was able to gather clues from the cave carvings. They all seemed to tell a slightly different story about a blue lion. They also shared clues leading to an event, although Keith didn’t know what event and when it would happen.

One day, when Keith was flying back to the shack after spending the whole day in the cave, he was far into his mind to realise where he was going, and he must have taken a wrong turn because before he knew it, he was falling off a cliff.

Thankfully, the cliff wasn’t high enough to kill him but it was still high enough that when he fell to the ground, he landed on his shoulder. He knew, just from the amount of pain he was in, that his shoulder was messed up and as he felt around he could feel it being dislocated.

He didn’t want to move, just wanted to stay there and succumb to the pain that was causing his brain to fuzz up. At that moment, immense pain taking over his mind, Keith felt hopeless. This was useless, all of this. There was no meaning behind the cave carvings. There was no energy. He was just a pathetic kid who couldn’t handle loss so he made all of this up because he couldn’t deal with hearing that Shiro, his mentor, his brother was gone. He was pathetic. Shiro was never coming back.

Keith felt a laugh bubble past his lips. God, he was fucking joke.

After what felt like hours of just laying there, Keith finally got up when he heard the coyotes’ howls. His brain, still delirious with pain, somehow managed to pop his shoulder back in place, drag his feet back to the hoverbike—which, by some miracle still worked— and have him sit down before turning on the engine and fly back to the shack—albeit slowly as he only had one functioning arm.

Flying helped his brain clear up from the pain a bit and Keith managed to get to the shack just as night fell. Most of his head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton, though, as Keith walked back into the shack and dropped himself onto the couch. He stared at the floor, hoping to take his mind off the pain enough for his to be able to be able to patch up his shoulder properly.

As he got up, his eyes flickered towards the white cotton sheets that covered up the piano and he froze. As his eyes bore into the white sheets he felt a wave of burning anger spread through him. The pain from his shoulder took over his thoughts and in a moment of madness Keith uncovered the piano and rushed to the kitchen, grabbing the matchbox before lighting one up and throwing it at the brown piano.

Memories filled his head as he watched the flames flickering on the piano. With tears streaming down his face, Keith felt laughter bubbling past his lips. So he laughed like a maniac and cried as he watched the flames. He grasped his injured shoulder as he thought about all those times he played the piano. Alone. With his dad, who died in a fire. With Shiro, who died out in space. With Adam, who now hated him. He was truly alone. He couldn’t do this anymore, he wanted to stop fighting and just give up. But as he stared at the burning piano, an image flashed through his mind.

_A small child—himself, Keith guessed—appeared to be in his father’s arms as he stared at a shadowy figure sat at the piano. It appeared to be a woman, playing the same song he often heard his dad play. The women kept playing, the only sound in the room being the melancholic music echoing from the piano until they were interrupted by the wails of the baby. The woman stopped playing as she slowly turned around. “Akira,” she said, but before Keith could see the woman’s face, the memory faded away._

Keith came back to reality and, with his mind being clearer he realised what was truly happening. Out of instinct, he ran to one of the cupboards, the one where his father kept his fire extinguisher. Keith knew that it was impossible that it would still work, many years have passed, but he still grabbed it and made his way back to the piano, praying to every divinity in the sky for it to extinguish the fire. He couldn’t afford to lose this piano, it was one of the only connections left to his dad and possibly the only connection to his mother. So, as fast as he could with an injured shoulder, he pulled the pin and squeezed the handle.

Miraculously, the extinguishing agent flowed out and he managed to extinguish the flames. Thankfully not much damage was done, only the lid and small parts of the upright piano suffering burns. The keys, hammer and strings—the most important parts—were safe.

Keith sat on the bench and he let the fire extinguisher fall to the ground as the adrenaline faded, leaving him tired and numb. He turned, facing the piano, and pulled up the cover. Gently, as if they were made of glass, he ran his fingers over the keys, taking on the familiar position before lightly pressing down on them. His fingers flowed throughout the piano, playing the same notes he heard the woman in his memory play. He closed his eyes, letting his emotions overwhelm him and this time embracing them as he ignored the tears that fell on his hands.

While there were bad memories that he with this piano, there were also too many good memories overpowering the bad ones. As he played, for the first time since the night before Kerberos, he felt some of the heaviness that he carried since the announcement fade away and instead replaced by the energy he felt at the cave, filling him with determination. He could do this. Shiro wasn’t gone and Keith was going to find and bring him back home.

But for now, Keith stayed seated and focused on the music flowing out of the piano, ignoring everything else.

 -

 A month later, with a newly-healed shoulder, Keith had uncovered the final clues that pointed to an arrival. Something was coming tomorrow, and something told him that it had to do with Shiro. So he prepared and the next night, when he followed the spaceship in the sky, he didn't expect to find Shiro strapped to a table. He didn’t expect that he would have Shiro, a small person that looked like a clone of Matt, a big guy with a yellow bandanna across his forehead, and an annoying—albeit cute— boy on the back of his hoverbike as he flew them down a cliff and back to his shack. And he definitely didn't expect to be standing in front of a blue mechanical lion after falling through a hole in the ground of the cave that he spent a year exploring.

 

* * *

 

They had just come back from a gruelling mission and all Keith wanted to do was curl up with Lance and sleep forever. They slowly helped each other remove their armour, both too tired to do anything more than sharing a couple of kisses, before changing into pajamas and climbing into bed.

There, Lance laid on his back, one hand running through Keith’s hair as the older boy rested his head above Lance’s heart, the sound of his heartbeat calming him. Although they were both tired, they still talked, sharing stories about their childhood and whatnot and as Keith laid there—curled up on top of the love of his life who kept pressing soft kisses against his hair and all over his face—he felt happy.

Keith burrowed his face further into Lance’s chest and said, “One of my first memories were of this brown piano resting in the corner of the tiny shack me and my dad used to live in.”

Lance’s fingers ran through his hair, making Keith more sleepy. “You mean the one I saw when we saved Shiro.”

Keith chuckled at the memory of Lance staring at the piano when he first saw it back when they saved Shiro. Lance had then proceeded to try to play something but miserably failed as an off-tune song came from the piano. It sounded like something was dying.

Keith pressed a kiss on Lance’s collarbone. “Yeah, that one. When I was younger my dad…” And Keith proceeded to tell him about the piano and what he went through with it. The song, his dad crying, his dad’s death, Shiro. Everything. And Lance listened, occasionally squeezing him tighter or pressing kissed against his hair when Keith's voice shook at certain memories. Keith told him about the piano. About how much it meant to him and how he regretted not appreciating it more because that piano, that music—even though Keith had often neglected it—would forever be his first love, and being in space far away from it made him regret neglecting it.

As Keith finished his story, they were both too tired to keep their eyes open and as they drifted off to sleep, Lance shifted them around so they were on their sides, curled up around each other. He pressed his lips against Keith’s forehead, keeping them there as he mumbled, “Thank you for telling me. I love you.”

Keith smiles as he pressed himself closer to Lance.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> let's pretend that Keith's arm healing quickly was because of him being part Galra >.<


End file.
